Why You Should Fall in Love with Abed Nadir or Some Other Imaginary Person

I want my students to believe that it’s good to fall in love with fictional people.  But I may be wrong.

My English course for Child Studies majors is called “A Question of Character.”  We’ve spent the last few weeks discussing  what “characterization” means in literature, and what “character” means in life.  Along the way, we’ve talked a little about whether reading literature can influence our personal characters and, as a result, our success and happiness in the present and future.  This is a question I want to explore more deeply in the coming weeks.

Our foray into this topic has corresponded, accidentally, with my sudden, random, out-of-control obsession with the TV show Community.  This obsession is inconvenient because it means that I can’t grade papers, can’t read the 45 books I need to read for this class, can’t really leave the house or do my laundry.  I can’t do anything but watch CommunityI devoured all 74 episodes in 2 weeks, and when they were over, I was so grief-stricken over the loss that I went back to the beginning and started again.  My husband is getting a little worried.

That said, my obsession with the show IS convenient because, although it is a multifaceted obsession, it is also focused.  I love the writing, I love the bizarro universe, I love the many layers of meta-meaning.  Mostly, though, I love Abed Nadir.  And I think my love for Abed is an appropriate discussion topic in a course that deals with character.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Community has followed a band of 7 oddball students and their equally oddball teachers through their first 3 years of community college. (The 4th season has just begun, and I’m disappointed with it so far – a lot of changes have happened behind the scenes – but I still have high hopes.)  Abed is, at least on the surface, the oddest of them all.  In the pilot, another student, irritated with Abed, barks that he has Asperger’s Syndrome, and he does seem to be a textbook case.  His consuming passion is pop culture, and he makes terrible movies that reveal some of his buried emotional truths.  He’s rigid and aloof, yet remarkably sensitive; a genius, yet utterly naive.  He repeats the phrase “Cool.  Cool cool cool” like a distracted owl, and he does a lot of blank, fish-eyed staring and subtle head-cocking.  He’s able to connect with the people around him only by imagining that they’re all in a film or television show – when his friends pressure him to flirt, he channels Mad Men’s Don Draper; when he dresses up as Batman for Hallowe’en, he turns into an actual superhero.

Abed isn’t really capable of loving anyone, but the closest he gets is his relationship with his best friend Troy, former high school quarterback and prom king.  Troy, for his part, loves Abed to distraction.  When a girl Troy’s interested in says Abed is weird, Troy walks out on her.  (Abed: ” I AM weird.”)  When he thinks Abed might be stolen away to England by a pen pal, Troy’s jealousy leads him to go “all psycho girlfriend,” as Troy’s actual girlfriend gently describes it.

It’s not just Troy, though; everyone around Abed loves him, even though they don’t understand him.  His friends listen to his advice because they know he has absolutely no emotional investment in their problems.  They step in front of bullies who want to pick on him; they pay for film courses that his father won’t cover, because they want him to follow his dreams.  From the moment he appears in the first minute of the pilot, telling the leading man his life story and THEN his name, he gives Community its wonky center.  And the fans love Abed with a love so demanding that some critics think it will warp the show’s orbit entirely.  (The Facebook page of the actor who plays him, Danny Pudi, has over 15,000 fans, and I would wager that at least 14,000 of them know Pudi ONLY as Abed.  That’s a LOT of love for a character who can barely make eye contact and has shrieking meltdowns when clocks are reset for Daylight Savings.)

It’s Abed who keeps me glued to Netflix for 6-hour blocks.  I want to spend all my time with him.  In the beginning, I had only a vague, inarticulate understanding of why this was, and a feeling that it would make a good basis for a lesson.  Also, great news: if I teach a lesson about Community, and Abed, I get to spend more time watching Community, and Abed.

My initial, intuitive analysis went something like this:

  • I love Abed because I’m just like him: socially awkward, unintentionally aloof, isolated inside my own mind and often unable to connect with others. (I always score in the borderline-to-Asperger’s range on autism self-tests.)
  • I love Abed because he’s so, so much better than me.  He’s adorable.  He’s charming and funny.  He’s completely self-assured – he fears losing his friends but has no fear of losing himself.  (And he doesn’t lose his friends.  This is also important.)
  • Abed therefore represents an ideal, but one I can actually aspire to.  He’s not realistic, but he feels real; I recognize so much of myself in him that it seems possible I could, someday, be as wonderful as he is.  Maybe loving him will improve me.

What does this have to do with my class?

I decided to find out by doing some research, and came across an article in the journal Children’s Literature in Education called “Why Readers Read What Writers Write,” by Hugh Crago. Crago presents us with the term “emotional matching,” which he defines as the way “a work of fiction has matched or paralleled the reader’s ‘self-narrative,’ that is, the shadowy concept most of us have about who we are, why we act the way we do, and the sort of ‘history’ we have had in the past and expect to have in the future.” (280)

Crago gives us a couple of examples to illustrate how “identification” works as powerfully with a fictional character as it does with a real human being.  For children, especially – and my course is a Child Studies course – an imaginary person can be an (unrequited but never rejecting) friend and role model, someone to connect to and also to admire, to seek comfort from and to imitate.  When we love Anne Shirley or Harry Potter, Tarzan or Nancy Drew, we feel, “I want to be like that, and I COULD be like that, because that person may be awesome, but he/she is also like me.”

Is it really this straightforward?  It feels so magical and chemical, so deeply personal despite its universality, this infatuation with a person who doesn’t exist.  Could it really come down to a simple Lego model of the soul – if your piece fits onto my piece, I get bigger?

Come to think of it, that IS kind of magic.  Maybe it’s why kids love Lego, too.

Or maybe it’s even simpler than that.  Maybe we love these characters because, by watching them or reading about them, we can feel what it would be like to be as amazing as they are, without doing any of the work required to actually be so.  This is a less encouraging scenario, and certainly undermines the pedagogical validity of my lesson.  Are Harry Potter and Anne Shirley and Abed merely ways for us to escape our real selves, to put on, in our own minds, costumes that make us appear to ourselves to be more than we are?

Mark David Chapman and Holden Caulfield immediately spring to mind.

I have written about the benefits of obsession before, but am I making excuses for something that is usually a waste of time and sometimes dangerous?  The greatest achievements in art and other creative pursuits are often the fruit of a creator’s obsession – or perhaps “grit” or “focus” would be a nicer word – but can passive, compulsive consumption of a sitcom or a novel ever lead to real personal growth?  Or can it only offer us, at best, comfort?

Maybe it doesn’t matter.  As any lonely, bullied, awkward or frightened child will tell you: such comfort is nothing to sneeze at.  This moving post, by an autistic woman who saw, in Abed, the first authentic reflection of herself on television, would convince anyone that simply recognizing oneself in the other is one of the most life-changing experiences we can have.

My plan is to start my lessson by asking my students to think of a book, a film, or a TV show that they have, at some point in their lives, loved to the point of obsession.  I’ll then get them to watch an episode of Community, to name the character that they each like best, and to discuss why.  I’ll ask them to guess which character I like best, and that will give me an excuse to talk about Abed for a while.  And then we’ll look at Crago’s article, and discuss the uses of “identification,” of “emotional matching.”  What do kids, and the rest of us, learn from falling in love with people who aren’t real?  Can we learn to be better versions of ourselves?  Or can we mostly just take refuge?

And if it’s only refuge, isn’t it still worth an awful lot?


Some related and worthwhile links:

Community is TV’s Most Ambitious Show

The Curious Case of Abed Nadir: Community and “Pop-Orientalism”

Episode Recap: “Virtual Systems Analysis”: The Fears of Abed the Undiagnosable

Crushes, Breakups and Natural Lives: How the Critical Romantic Watches Television


24 thoughts on “Why You Should Fall in Love with Abed Nadir or Some Other Imaginary Person

  1. Siobhan,

    Weird is a lot less scary than “normal” and quite a bit more interesting. I like your idea that obsession can be instructive…….having an intensity around something / someone in a sense to identify and celebrate rather than encapsulate (which can be a little unsettling for the object/subject). I can be a little too encapsulating at times, but I like your take here……..



    1. RR: I think one sign of a healthy maturity is our ability to recognize our obsessions for what they are – unrealistic, and all about our own projections, but still valuable. As you say, the desire to encapsulate and possess is where they become problematic – children have a natural tendency to this, but when we see it in grownups it is very troubling!


    2. Yes, possession is very troubling…..which is why I concede “a little” encapsulating. Viewing obsession along a continuum has a lot of value and it is good to caution about the slippery slope, but c’mon a touch of trouble here and there keeps things interesting!


  2. I will have to continue to think on the stance of emotional matching. It seems to me that maybe it is all intertwined. I fall hard for all kinds of characters in books (male, female, monster, angel) because I both do relate in some way and WANT TO BE them or have their life or love or adventures. For example, I devoured every Trixie Belden book ever written. I was Trixie for a time I believe – and looking back, my best friend had many of Honey Wheeler’s qualities (Trixie’s best friend). Is that emotional matching? On the other hand, I want to be Saba from Dust Lands (not the whiny, selfish part – which I am – but the kick butt cage fighter with a crow that travels with her). I want my daughter to date Gansey from Raven Boys. I want my son to grow up loyal and true like Sam from Shiver.

    When I find these books with characters I love, I seek out others who have read them and talk talk talk about them. I want others to be as passionate about the characters that I love as I am. I don’t know what this would relate to though – finding common ground? If you love this character like I do, does that bring us closer? If you don’t like him or her, where does that leave us?

    I can’t wait to see where your discussions in this class go! Keep us posted!


    1. Erin: your relationship with Trixie Belden sounds exactly like what Crago describes as emotional maching, as do your feelings about Saba etc. I so wish I knew someone who loves Community and Abed as much as I do so we could spend all day talking about it! I think loving the same character definitely brings people closer, as does anything two people have in common…


    2. I also had a huge Trixie Belden obsession as a kid and teenager! I’m so excited to see those books mentioned by someone else! 🙂


  3. Very interesting concepts explored here that you know about at a subconscious level but never really give a name to it – love the concept of “emotional matching” as you describe it… also – going to go look for Community episodes now! 🙂


    1. One symptom of my obsession is that I’m reading through all of the A.V. Club’s reviews of Community episodes. In their review of one of the Christmas specials ( http://www.avclub.com/articles/abeds-uncontrollable-christmas,48743/ ) they put their finger on one of the main things that makes the show what it is: “I’m staggered by how much I care about the characters and want them to be OK, the kind of caring you only feel in the very, very best sitcoms, where the people are, sure, fictional, but feel more real than that somehow.”


  4. Here’s the challenge: falling in love with a character (whether because the character resembles us or whether on the other hand the character doesn’t resemble us) is a good experience to have once in a while for teachers. But, there is a point beyond which it can stand in the way of good teaching. We want to model the fact that this attachment can lead us into the other features of the book that are less magnetic (at least on the surface) so students can let their love of a character do the same for them. But we don’t want to have the experience become all about us; if we do that we lose the students, and if they do it, they lose track of the underlying reason for studying literature — i.e. to take us outside of us through creative use of language, plot, structure, etc.


    1. EB: I agree that as teachers, our teaching can’t be fixated on our passionate love for characters, specific books, books in general, etc. However, depending on the context in which we are teaching, I think there might be room to make it our goal to help students discover that love, especially students who had have limited experience with reading throughout their lives. I’ve written more about that here: https://siobhancurious.com/2010/11/17/literary-appreciation-literary-analysis-a-course-plan/


  5. I am a little slow in coming around to reading this one, but this is a wonderful post! And an important question. I think the refuge counts for a great deal – but I also think we can let ourselves get sucked into it a little too far, for a little too long. I do, anyway. I can tell when I start to see that I’m neglecting the rest of my life.


  6. As a high school English teacher, I constantly try help my students connect to characters, and to apply this connection to their own lives. Nowhere do I see this more than in the novel, Speak, where I consistently have ninth graders who relate to, empathize with, and become friends with, the main character, Melinda.


  7. “And if it’s only refuge, isn’t it still worth an awful lot?”

    What a wonderful sentiment. I’ve felt similar attachments to TV characters in the past but never put this much thought into it.


  8. a grt piece of speculation…. can relate with you…easily…. as…mine too is a classic case of character n show addiction…… here is what i have been through…. n still going through…. you make me feel good….but i can say one thing for sure…. no…why or what or time…is gonna lessen my love for this character or actor… the reason may be any one you described above…(actually I still don’t know the real reason for falling for it ). or as you say…“And if it’s only refuge, isn’t it still worth an awful lot?”…wondering…..lastly loved your post… will defo st


    forgive me, for any typos or language error…. english isn’t my first language….am learning…


  9. I absolutely adore what you said about why we are drawn to certain fictional characters – that we maybe see a bit of us in them, and that we can live vicariously through them in the magical fictional world.

    I loved reading your post. And your description about how you were grief stricken when you finished watching Community (I’ve not seen it, but I am now tempted to check it out). I felt like that after I finished reading The Hunger Games books. I was devastated, and felt like an empty shell walking around, because I realised I could never enter that world ever again for the first time, without knowing everything. I was obsessed with the books and the character Katniss Everdeen.

    I often fall in love with imaginary fictional characters 🙂 Maybe it’s human nature to channel those feelings, and if we don’t have someone real to give those feelings to, they have to escape to someplace else, even if the recipient is imaginary and not real.


  10. Can you be my teacher? For anything? I am hugely obsessed with a character from the Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare by the name of William Herondale. I could write at least an 8000 word essay on William Herondale. This is the best post ever. Proof that there is a benefit to obsessing over fictional characters? Yay! I’m not crazy 🙂


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s